Divorce and Remarriage in the Church

Biblical Divorce: Divorce in Israel – Part 2

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Christianity, Marriage and Divorce, Scripture

Last time, we discussed the significance of Exodus 21:9-11 on the discussion of a Biblical view of divorce. We noticed that the text provides the bare minimum standards for a marriage for the lowest level of citizenry in Israel. If those standards were not upheld, the woman had the right to end the marriage and go free. Today we take a look at the next text in our Old Testaments that deals with divorce. This time, we turn to Deuteronomy to look at an extremely important case law which Jesus was later questioned about specifically.

Deuteronomy 24:1-4

In Deuteronomy 24 we are presented with the unfortunate case of a woman who will be divorced multiple times, and a former husband that might seek to gain from this situation. To understand the complexity of this marriage, we need to abandon our cultural norms and embrace the norms of ancient the Ancient Near East (ANE for short), and ancient Israel in order to properly understand this text.

In most of the ANE, woman had no property rights at all. The famous Code of Hammurabi is a great example of the standard laws of the ANE, and shows pretty clearly that women in that culture were often considered as property of a man, with almost no discussion of them actually owning property themselves.

Now let’s consider the ramifications of such a worldview, setting aside for a moment the obvious lack of value this places on half of God’s image. Suppose a man goes away to war and isn’t seen again for quite a long time…years even. If his wife remarries another man, and later the original husband returns, his wife would still be considered his property. All the man would have to do is claim her back, claim any children she’s had in the meantime, and resume life as he sees fit. This is obviously a horrible situation for everyone involved to even have to consider, and yet it was the standard ANE situation when it came to marriage. Some unscrupulous men even manipulated this system for their advantage. This is why Deuteronomy 24 is so drastically different in ancient Israel. Let’s look at the text.

24:1 If a man marries a woman and she does not please him because he has found something offensive in her, then he may draw up a divorce document, give it to her, and evict her from his house. 24:2 When she has left him she may go and become someone else’s wife. 24:3 If the second husband rejects her and then divorces her, gives her the papers, and evicts her from his house, or if the second husband who married her dies, 24:4 her first husband who divorced her is not permitted to remarry her after she has become ritually impure, for that is offensive to the LORD. You must not bring guilt on the land which the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance.

Dt 24:1–4, Biblical Studies Press, The NET Bible First Edition; Bible. English. NET Bible.; The NET Bible (Biblical Studies Press, 2005).

The “why” and “How” of divorce and Remarriage

The first thing we need to consider here is the “why” of this divorce. This has often been interpreted as being some sort of adulterous situation, however that’s not directly what the text states. The punishment for adultery was death in Israel, so there would be no need to figure out a divorce as the death penalty would obviously end the marriage. The Hebrew phrase is ערות דבר (ʿervat davar), with a literal translation of “nakedness of a matter.” The phrase has caused much debate in Jewish circles, both in ancient times and today. What everyone seems to agree on, however, is this phrase would certainly describe some sort of sexual impropriety, without necessarily being adultery. This could be a situation like Jesus and the woman at the well, which was completely innocent but could have caused people to talk and make accusations (note the call for the husband in John 4:16). In other cases, it could be dressing in appropriately, or having non-sexual yet still emotional relationships with other men. The point is, there is something in the woman’s actions that a husband would have reasonable grounds to protest. If these actions persisted, the husband would have a legitimate reason to end the marriage.

Pay careful attention to verse 2, because it is clear that remarriage of divorced persons was perfectly acceptable in ancient Israel. The verse does not qualify this statement, nor does it put provisions on what caused the divorce, or who was at fault, or any of the other stipulations many Christians like to add to conversations about remarriage after divorce. The text simply says that once the divorce is complete (she has left him), then she is free to go and marry again. Even when the woman is at fault, she is free to marry again, plain and simple. So simple in fact that there’s the possibility/expectation of her to marry a third time after her second divorce or being widowed (24:4).

There’s also information to be gathered from the way the divorce is carried out. 24:3 above uses the phrase “gives her the papers”, but I much prefer NIV’s clear rendering of “certificate of divorce.” This practice was highly unusual in the ANE, so much so that it seems this practice of providing a certificate of divorce for a woman was unique to Israel. In every Israelite marriage, a certificate was part of the ceremony (much like today), but this certificate spelled out what was required in the marriage. Examples of these certificates were found along with the Scriptures known as the Dead Sea Scrolls, and they contained the language of Exodus 21. These stipulations were written on a certificate, and given to the bride who kept it safe because this was her freedom if the marriage should go poorly. If her husband mistreated her, she would petition the husband or the town elders and give witness to the neglect. If it was clear that the accusations were valid, and the woman wanted to leave the marriage, then she was issued a certificate of divorce, a right that very few women in the ancient world could claim. The language would read “you are free to marry any man you wish,” and provided safety for the woman and any future husband, knowing a former husband could not reclaim them at some point in the future after abandoning them.

Why Not Remarry Here?

So why can the first husband not remarry his former wife here? After all, the woman is “free to marry any man” she would wish, except for her first husband in the example. Wouldn’t we hope they could patch things up and get back together? It seems like the Lord has a different view of the situation, calling it “offensive” and citing that guilt will be brought on the land. Notice this is not said about remarriage in general, but only in reference to remarriage to the original spouse (something that a number of churches teach as exactly what should happen, but I digress).

So why not remarry the first husband? A couple of suggestions have been put forward as to why, but in honesty the text isn’t clear on this matter. What is clear is this particular remarriage should not happen. One ANE law scholar, Raymond Westbrook, believed this situation has to do with the dowry, or bride-price. The theory is that if the original husband knew there was “something offensive” about this woman, remarrying her would be under false pretenses just to claim a second dowry from her before sending her away again. The point of Westbrook’s theory is that this law protects the rights of the woman.

Another scholar, Dr. David Instone-Brewer, cites the Shiite practice of mut’ah marriage. It does seem that there was at least some version of this practice carried out in the ANE, and seems to me to be a reasonable possibility of what Deuteronomy 24 seeks to forbid. If this is the case, once again this law would be designed to protect the rights of the woman. Here’s a description from the Wikipedia article linked above.

According to Shia Muslims, Muhammad sanctioned nikah mut’ah (fixed-term marriage, called muta’a in Iraq and sigheh in Iran), which has instead been used as a legitimizing cover for sex workers in a culture where prostitution is otherwise forbidden. Some Western writers have argued that mut’ah approximates prostitution.

Wikipedia entry for “nikah mut’ah,” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah_mut%27ah

Several other suggestions have been put forth, but what is clear in every theory is that this law that forbids remarrying the original husband seeks to protect the woman. In a sense, this law reminds Israel that marriage is a serious endeavor and to treat it flippantly as a possible on again/off again affair is an offense to the Lord.

Marriage is fine. Divorce is fine. Jumping back and forth between the two and degrading the value of marriage is not fine.

Jesus and Deuteronomy 24

For now I’d like to return to the debate over the phrase ערות דבר (ʿervat davar). The NIV’s translation of “something indecent” is helpful here to understand the debate among rabbi’s in Jesus’ day. Both those who followed Hillel and Shammai accepted Exodus 21:10, and taught their disciples exactly what an appropriate amount of clothing, food, and marital rights would constitute a legitimate marriage. When we come to Deuteronomy 24, however, these two famed teachers of Scripture disagreed greatly. The Shammaites believed that Deuteronomy 24 dealt with a case of sexual indiscretion on the part of the woman as discussed above.

The Hillelites viewed this passage differently, separating the phrase ‘ervat davar into two separate items. To borrow the NIV again, Hillelites believed the text provided two valid reasons for the divorce—”something indecent” was interpreted to allow divorce for “indecent” actions, and “something.” What this would mean was if the woman acted indecently, then you could divorce her. Additionally, if she did “something” you didn’t like, such as forgetting to add onions to your scrambled eggs, then you could divorce her. Essentially, the Hillelites championed the “any cause divorce” from this passage, and by the time of Jesus’ ministry, this was the most prevalent cause of divorce in Israel.

Matthew 19 as Commentary on Deuteronomy 24

We will cover Matthew 19 in depth in a later post, but it is important to note the context of a Jesus’ comments there as a discussion about what Deuteronomy 24 allows. Consider the question Jesus is asked by the Pharisees.

Then some Pharisees came to him in order to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful to divorce a wife for any cause?”

Mt 19:3, Biblical Studies Press, The NET Bible First Edition; Bible. English. NET Bible.; The NET Bible (Biblical Studies Press, 2005).

The reason this discussion of “any cause” divorce would be interesting to the Pharisees is because it was the most common form of divorce in the Roman world of the first century. It was common among Gentiles, and even among the Hillelite followers in Judea. Because the question is a direct quote of the Hillelite interpretation of Deuteronomy 24, Jesus’ remarks need to be interpreted in light of his response to their question. In other words, Jesus is not offering commentary on Exodus 21, or Deuteronomy 21 or 22, or Malachi 2, or Jeremiah 3, or any other discussion of divorce in the Old Testament. He’s being asked about the Deuteronomy 24 interpretation of allowing divorce for “any cause”, and Jesus’ response is a resounding “no.” In Jesus’ interpretation, Deuteronomy 24 does not permit divorce for “any and every reason.”

Summary of Biblical Divorce in Deuteronomy 24

  • Deuteronomy 24 assumes legitimate reasons for the divorces mentioned.
  • Marriages in Israel could end based upon ערות דבר (ʿervat davar), with a literal translation of “nakedness of a matter.”
  • Jesus interpreted this text to refer to sexual indecency, and not “any cause” like the Hillelite school. According to Jesus, Deuteronomy 24 does not provide grounds for “any and every reason” or “any cause” divorces. There are legitimate reasons for divorce, but a divorce is not valid unless one of these Biblical standards are met (more on this in future posts).
  • In the case of divorce, the party at fault (in this case the woman) as well as the wronged party (in this case the man) could both marry again without qualification once the divorce was completed (24:2, 4).
  • The woman must be given a certificate of divorce in order to protect her rights to marry again. This was a right that was unique to Israel. Even if the woman was at fault in the original marriage, she was free to remarry another man.
  • Deuteronomy 24 places no limits on remarriage (three potential marriages are illustrated).
  • The only restriction on remarriage is for the original husband remarrying his ex wife. This is strictly forbidden, and is done most likely to protect the rights of the woman.

Next time, we will look at Ezra/Nehemiah in light of Malachi 2.

Biblical Divorce Series

  1. God’s Divorce
  2. Biblical Divorce: Divorce in Israel – Part 1
  3. Biblical Divorce: Divorce in Israel – Part 2
  4. Biblical Divorce: Divorce in Israel – Part 3
  5. Biblical Divorce and Jesus – Part 1
  6. Biblical Divorce and Jesus – Part 2
  7. The Apostle Paul and Divorce
Divorce and Remarriage in the Church

Biblical Divorce: Divorce in Israel – Part 1

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Exodus, Marriage and Divorce, Scripture

As we continue to explore a Biblical view of divorce, we need to begin with a word about the Bible itself. Our Bibles are in reality a library bound in one cover. The Bible is a collection of 66 writings—letters, sermons, history, songs, prayers, complaints, warnings and prophecies—written by over 40 people over a span of 1600 years in three languages on three continents, and has a mysteriously unifying theme that can only be explained by a good God behind its writing. As Paul so wonderfully summarized…

3:16 Every scripture is inspired by God and useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, 3:17 that the person dedicated to God may be capable and equipped for every good work.

2 Tim 3:16–17, Biblical Studies Press, The NET Bible First Edition; Bible. English. NET Bible.; The NET Bible (Biblical Studies Press, 2005).

Paul further clarifies that these same texts are able to give us “wisdom for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus” (2 Tim 3:15 NET). I hope you realize that Paul is writing the New Testament as he pens this, meaning the texts that Timothy had known “from infancy” refer to the Old Testament.

I am further convinced by James that we serve a God whose Word does not change, and does not contradict itself.

1:16 Do not be led astray, my dear brothers and sisters. 1:17 All generous giving and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or the slightest hint of change. 1:18 By his sovereign plan he gave us birth through the message of truth, that we would be a kind of firstfruits of all he created. 

Jas 1:16–18, Biblical Studies Press, The NET Bible First Edition; Bible. English. NET Bible.; The NET Bible (Biblical Studies Press, 2005).

Therefore, as we study what the Bible has to say about divorce for the Christian, we need to consider everything the Bible has to say about divorce…yes, even the Old Testament. Over the next few weeks, we’ll discover that those famous sayings by Jesus and Paul about divorce are in fact commentaries on what the Bible had already taught concerning divorce.

The Rights of Women in the Old Testament

What we encounter in looking at the Pentateuch is an overview of the laws of Israel, not a full collection of Israel’s laws. Without wandering off topic, let me simply say there are basic laws any society would need that are not recounted in Scripture. The main purpose of God preserving some laws in Scripture was to highlight the differences between Israel and the rest of the world in faith, ethics, and practice. Dr. David Instone-Brewer, honorary research fellow in Rabbinics and the New Testament at Tyndale House, comments on some of these differences.

“In particular, women have greater rights in the Pentateuch than in the ancient Near East generally…The differences that do exist are in the rights of the wife and the divorcée.”

David Instone-Brewer, Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible: The Social and Literary Context (Grand Rapids, MI; Cambridge, U.K.: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 2002), 21.

There are a number of passages that reference divorce throughout the Old Testament that we will explore in future postings. For today, I want to start with the first of two key texts of the Old Testament that directly addresses divorce.

Exodus 21:9-11

 In Exodus 21, following the giving of the 10 Commandments, we encounter case law for God’s covenant people to learn, and apply to their future situations. One of these case laws involves a young lady sold by her father as a servant to another Israelite. This is where verse 9 picks up.

21:9 If he designated her for his son, then he will deal with her according to the customary rights of daughters. 21:10 If he takes another wife, he must not diminish the first one’s food, her clothing, or her marital rights. 21:11 If he does not provide her with these three things, then she will go out free, without paying money. 

 Biblical Studies Press, The NET Bible First Edition; Bible. English. NET Bible.; The NET Bible (Biblical Studies Press, 2005), Ex 21:9–11.

Notice that even this servant is to be treated like a daughter with full rights. Even though this person is owned, they receive full rights as a citizen of Israel and equal family member when getting married (v. 9). If polygamy is practiced by the Israelite man, then the provision for his first wife (in this case, the former servant of verse 9) must continue to include food, clothing, and her marital rights (v. 10). Notice that these are expected as part of marriage regardless of the practice of polygamy.

These three staples are a requirement of an Israelite marriage. And if any of these three things are missing from the marriage, the woman has the right to go free, without payment. That would indicate she did not have to buy her way out of a marriage, nor buy her freedom. She was absolutely free from her marriage if food, clothing, or marital rights were neglected by the husband. According to Stuart, not providing these three items…

“…was sufficient grounds for the wife to be freed from both her marriage (which had been profaned by the discrimination of her husband) and her service…”

Douglas K. Stuart, Exodus, vol. 2, The New American Commentary (Nashville: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2006), 483.

A note on “marital rights”

Most translations and commentaries view the third word, ענתה (ʿonathah), as sexual relations of the marriage covenant. In other words, if the husband neglects his sexual duty to his wife, the marriage would have legitimate grounds to end. Conversely, it could end if the woman deprived her husband (consider 1 Corinthians 7:3-4).

There is also the possibility of translating ענתה (ʿonathah) as an oil or salve of some type, indicating the necessity to also provide necessary personal beauty/health products. This would exactly mirror the requirements of the neighboring nations including Babylon (consider Hosea 2:5, which references divorce and which we will consider in its full context in a future post).

I believe the NET Bible translation notes summarize the point of this text, and the translation difficulty well.

“The point is that the woman was to be cared for with all that was required for a woman in that situation.”

Translation note on Exod. 21:10,  Biblical Studies Press, The NET Bible First Edition; Bible. English. NET Bible.; The NET Bible (Biblical Studies Press, 2005).

Summary of Biblical Divorce in Exodus 21

  • There are certain requirements for a marriage to be valid.
  • According to Exodus 21, these requirements are food, clothing, and marital rights.
  • This text deals with the lowest class of citizenry, and is considered the minimum requirements of a marriage in Israel.
  • If these basic needs are not met, the deprived person is free to go.
  • The marriage can end because the one party has not fulfilled the obligations of the marriage.
  • Nothing in this text indicates the marriage must end. Rather, the wronged party has the choice of ending the marriage.

Next time we will look at Deuteronomy 24.

Biblical Divorce Series

  1. God’s Divorce
  2. Biblical Divorce: Divorce in Israel – Part 1
  3. Biblical Divorce: Divorce in Israel – Part 2
  4. Biblical Divorce: Divorce in Israel – Part 3
  5. Biblical Divorce and Jesus – Part 1
  6. Biblical Divorce and Jesus – Part 2
  7. The Apostle Paul and Divorce
Divorce and Remarriage in the Church

God’s Divorce

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Christianity, Jeremiah, Marriage and Divorce, Scripture

It feels like if I had $1 for every time someone has told me about being hurt by a church, specifically in regards to divorce, I’d be driving a brand new vehicle instead of my 20 year old truck. Just this Sunday I heard this yet again, and it happened at a church I have attended, although not during a season I attended there. Marriage and divorce are two of the most misunderstood concepts in our world, and in the church.

The stories I’ve encountered in every church I’ve ministered, and in every community I have lived in are heartbreaking. They include people who left the church because they were shamed by their community of faith as their marriage ended.

Some were abused and battered women told by church leaders to remain married to their husband.

Some were ministers who were summarily fired because they faced marriage problems.

Some non-believers who were very interested in learning about Jesus were afraid to enter a church and learn because they believed they were unwelcome due to their divorced status.

Even a couple happily married for decades who were told by their church leaders that they should divorce even though their marriage was healthy because they had both been married previously. Apparently in the minds of that church, two divorces were better than one.

Sadly, I could continue sharing many more of these same types of encounters that both believers, and non-believers have encountered from the church. As one person told me, “It seems like divorce is the unpardonable sin.” Shockingly, it’s not even a sin.

In the coming weeks and months, I hope to begin writing again specifically to address the gross misrepresentation of Biblical divorce. But I have to start from one undeniable Biblical fact that most Christians have no idea of.

Our God is divorced.

Don’t believe me? Let’s look at the Bible together.

3:6 When Josiah was king of Judah, the LORD said to me, “Jeremiah, you have no doubt seen what wayward Israel has done. You have seen how she went up to every high hill and under every green tree to give herself like a prostitute to other gods. 3:7 Yet even after she had done all that, I thought that she might come back to me. But she did not. Her sister, unfaithful Judah, saw what she did. 3:8 She also saw that I gave wayward Israel her divorce papers and sent her away because of her adulterous worship of other gods. Even after her unfaithful sister Judah had seen this, she still was not afraid, and she too went and gave herself like a prostitute to other gods. 3:9 Because she took her prostitution so lightly, she defiled the land through her adulterous worship of gods made of wood and stone. 3:10 In spite of all this, Israel’s sister, unfaithful Judah, has not turned back to me with any sincerity; she has only pretended to do so,” says the LORD. 3:11 Then the LORD said to me, “Under the circumstances, wayward Israel could even be considered less guilty than unfaithful Judah.

Biblical Studies Press, The NET Bible First Edition; Bible. English. NET Bible.; The NET Bible (Biblical Studies Press, 2005), Je 3:6–11.

Do you catch what the LORD is saying? He was married to Israel, and Israel was unfaithful. So the LORD divorced Israel.

Our God is divorced.

If your beliefs about divorce don’t allow room for God himself being divorced, your beliefs are not biblical.

There is much to unpack in Jeremiah, but that’s enough for one post. What I want us to realize is simply this: divorce is not a sin. Divorce often occurs as the result of sin, but divorce is not sin. This is how the LORD himself can have a divorce from Israel while remaining sinless.

Divorce is sometimes necessary. Divorce is always painful. Divorce is not nescessarily sinful.

Biblical Divorce Series

  1. God’s Divorce
  2. Biblical Divorce: Divorce in Israel – Part 1
  3. Biblical Divorce: Divorce in Israel – Part 2
  4. Biblical Divorce: Divorce in Israel – Part 3
  5. Biblical Divorce and Jesus – Part 1
  6. Biblical Divorce and Jesus – Part 2
  7. The Apostle Paul and Divorce

What’s In A Name?

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Exodus, How to Read the Bible, Life, Scripture

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose/ By any other name would smell as sweet.”

William Shakespeare, Romeo & Juliet

Juliet tried hard to convince Romeo that names don’t matter. To put it another way, for Juliet, who we are is not dependent upon a name, nor are we defined by a name. While I admire Shakespeare on many levels, on this point he’s wrong.

I think the real question is “Do any names matter?” And the Biblical answer to that is a resounding “YES!” What we learn as we read the Bible is that who we are is precisely dependent upon a name—the only name that matters.

The Name

For an ancient Israelite, one name in particular mattered more than any other name.

Exodus is the retelling of God’s powerful rescue of Israel out of the bondage of slavery and oppression in Egypt. God uses a human, Moses, to be his representative before Pharaoh during this miraculous rescue. To Pharaoh, in essence, it is as if Moses is God, performing signs and wonders, and delivering the Divine message to Pharaoh, with Aaron as his helper (Exod 4:15-16).

This is an awesome task! To represent the God of the universe to someone who does not know God is a frightening endeavor, especially if you don’t really know the God you are representing!

Moses instantly feels inferior to the task, asking “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh?” (Exod 3:11) God never answers the question directly, but indicates that God’s presence will be sufficient. Simply put to Moses, “I will be with you.” (Exod 3:12)

The second, and possibly the most informative question that Moses asks is how to acknowledge God before the people. Here is God’s reply:

God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’ ”
God also said to Moses, “Say to the Israelites, ‘The LORD, the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you.’
“This is my name forever,
the name you shall call me
from generation to generation.”

Exodus 3:14-15 NIV

The Meaning

There is a long rabbit trail here concerning the name(s) God chooses in this revelation to Moses. Without going too far down that trail, we need some clarification here. The Hebrew phrase “Ehyeh asher ehyeh” is what the NIV translates as “I AM WHO I AM.” Without totally nerding out on Hebrew, we should know that depending on how one views this phrase, it can mean variously “I AM WHO I AM,” or “I AM WHAT I AM,” or “I WILL BE WHO I WILL BE,” or any combination of these options. God’s revelation of being in this name shows that God is not dependent on anything, and everything else in all creation has its dependence upon God. You and I are human, we are tired, we are in a particular location at a particular time, etc. Simply put, we are finite. God simply IS.

And that’s the second name. What most English language Bibles translate as “LORD” in all capital letters, is the actually the 3rd person version of Ehyeh. Instead of “I AM”, the Hebrew name Yahweh (LORD) is means “HE IS.” (For more information on why the English translation does this, Bible Project has this great video.)

This name, Yahweh (LORD/HE IS), is the name of Israel’s God (Exod 20:2), the only god Israel is to worship (Exod 20:3), and the one whom his people are to represent well through bearing this name (Exod 20:7).

Bearing the Name

That last part, bearing or misusing the name of Yahweh, might be one of the most misunderstood commands of the Bible, and one that I intend to unpack a bit in my sermons over the next few weeks. But here’s the short take on what this command means:

  • Humans have always been designed to bear the image of their Creator (Gen 1:27).
  • Instead of bearing the image/name of their Creator, sinful humans decided to make a name for themselves (Gen 3:5; 11:4).
  • The Creator then decides to create a new people to bear his image/name in the world, thus growing his reputation/name as well as theirs, in the process of bringing blessing to all humans (Gen 12:1-3).
  • This new family commits to bearing the Creator’s name, Yahweh, and being representatives of the name/reputation of the Creator in the earth (Exod 19:5-6).
  • This is not a light responsibility, and must be taken seriously. Bearing the name of Yahweh in a careless way brings guilt upon the people (Exod 20:7).
  • (This point needs more unpacking, but…) That name/reputation has been transferred to Jesus, the name we must now represent, respect, and honor (Phil 2:6-11).
  • This Jesus (which means “Yahweh Saves”) is the physical representation of Yahweh (John 8:58 – I AM), and the name of Jesus is the only name that brings us salvation (Acts 4:12).
  • When we place our allegiance in the name of Jesus, coming to God through Jesus, we become chosen people, that priesthood of representatives in the world (1 Peter 2:4-10).

What’s in a name? EVERYTHING! And the name we need for salvation, the name we must bear carefully, the name we must represent to others is the name of Jesus.

Click here to view Matt’s sermons on Bearing God’s Name.

Gossip – the sin we’re ok with?

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Church health, Life, Politics, Romans, Scripture

I made the mistake of watching the “news” recently. As a rule I refuse to do this, but I was lured into watching the “news.” What I saw was a bunch of unfounded, unverified hearsay passed along in order to convince the viewer that they should be outraged about these same unfounded, unverified rumors. The Biblical term for such talk is “gossip.”

28 Furthermore, just as they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, so God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done. 29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, 30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; 31 they have no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. 32 Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them. 

 The New International Version (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), Ro 1:28–32.

Did you notice “gossips” appear in that list? I think most followers of Christ are really comfortable with calling most of those sins exactly what they are: sin. Yet it seems very comfortable for most people to be ok with gossip. And when the gossip is packaged and sold to us as “news” or “the real truth,” it becomes more palatable.

Still, if the message is intriguing or scandalous enough, we just might listen. And then we are happy to pass it on. Don’t believe me? Just look on Facebook, or Twitter, or any other social media platform. Americans love to “share” those shocking “articles” about politics, or some celebrity. We convince ourselves that others need to know this “truth,” but did we stop to check the validity of the claims? Have we actually done the research, or simply passed along what we were told?

We can rationalize it away, or try to find some reason to justify doing these things, but the Bible is very clear. Gossip is sin.

The most common area I encounter gossip is around actions that one deems inappropriate. Those actions may or may not in actuality be inappropriate, but the assumption of inappropriate behavior usually sparks gossip. From there the assumption is told to another, and then to another in hopes of building a consensus that this assumed inappropriate behavior is wrong. It gets even easier to do this sort of thing when dealing with a celebrity or politician. But acting this way is absolutely not acting like Jesus. I really like Bruce Waltke’s take on this.

“Now we come [to] ‘Do not bear false witness,’ in which we spare—we bestow on the other—the right to a reputation. We guard the other person’s reputation. We guard it against false testimony. I suspect all of us have violated this; we’ve gossiped about somebody. I think sometimes we hold court in living rooms, drinking cups of coffee. We talk evil of another person, with no due process at all. They’re not there to defend themselves. There may not even be witnesses, but they should not gossip about another person unless the other person is there to defend himself or herself. We’ve got to protect the other person’s reputation. Christians should never gossip.”

 Bruce K. Waltke, OT300 Old Testament Theology, Logos Mobile Education (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2018).

How about we consider what Jesus suggests?

15 “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.

 The New International Version (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), Mt 18:15.

When it comes to friends, family, or other Christians, this should be fairly easy. You make it a point to go directly to the person.

Not to the minister. Not to the elders. Not to your friends.

You go directly to the person you have an issue with. You just might learn that an assumption on your part was incorrect, or it’s possible your concerns might be validated. If there actually is a legitimate problem, then the two of you can address it without everyone else getting involved. This is how Jesus tells us to handle this situation.

So the next time you’re a part of the conversation that steers toward talking about people who aren’t there, remember the wise words of a former First Lady.

Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.

Eleanor Roosevelt

What do you mean it’s an elephant?

by Matthew Stidham, posted in How to Read the Bible, Women of Scripture

There’s an old story of three blind men who are led to different parts of an elephant. One feels the tail and thinks it’s a paint brush. One feels the leg and thinks it’s a tree. One feels the ear and thinks it is a large leaf. By the information that each person had they made their best judgement. But when they got together and compared information they realized that none of them had the full picture. Then they worked together to find the head which clearly revealed that there was an elephant in the room.

This Sunday, we will begin a journey through the First Testament in our Bibles, exploring 14 different passages. There are common themes in these texts, and all of them are themes included in John’s Gospel (which we will spend the winter and spring studying). To put it another way, we are surveying the First Testament with an eye toward passages that inform our reading of John’s Gospel. Some of these texts will be familiar, others not so much. Some are confusing, some may seem irrelevant to our lives today, and some have been the point of much controversy, both inside and outside the Church.

One of the things I’ve noticed about some of these First Testament stories is that we learn them as children, such as VBS or Sunday School, and then never really consider them in depth as adults. When we think of the story of Moses and the burning bush (which isn’t actually burning…), our mind goes to the flannel graph images and summaries of our childhood Bible class teachers.

I am so thankful for the teachers that taught me to love the Bible! They taught very difficult, adult Bible stories in a way that my childhood brain could comprehend and appreciate. But when they taught me to love the Bible, they taught me to always study the Bible as well. And what I’ve discovered, especially with this portion of the Bible, is that we rarely spend the time studying these texts that we should. And when we do actually study them, or hear them taught at an adult level, there’s a certain shock involved. We remember the faithfulness of people like Noah, Abraham, Moses, and Miriam. We forget that they were also drunkards, liars, murderers, and extremely jealous. The stories are far more complex than our childhood memories convey. And when we only focus on the children’s story version of the text, we can miss the point of the story altogether.

The issue is not with the texts themselves, but how we read the texts. All of us come to Scripture with existing biases. I read Scripture through the eyes of a white, middle class, married father of three, recently moved to southwest Missouri from West Texas. That is my perspective. Someone who is middle eastern, impoverished, single, living in Europe will see things differently than I do simply because of their background and surroundings. They view the world differently than I do, and that’s a good thing! Just read the story of the prodigal son(s) with someone from an impoverished country. Most of us read that story not realizing that a famine plays an important role in the story, and in the repentance of the son. People who have suffered from famine pick up on that right away.

Proverbs reminds us that there is wisdom in having “many advisors.” If I am looking at something alone, I only see things from my point of view. But if I talk about it with others with different views, I can begin to see more of the picture.

Some have suggested that addressing controversial texts does no good. “It means what it says and says what it means, and that settles it!” But it doesn’t settle things, does it? The greatest clarity of Scripture I have ever found has come when discussing the text with people who have differing views. Though I may not agree with everything they see, I always walk away with a greater understanding of their view, my view, and most importantly the Word of God. Just this week, a new detail stood out to me in Genesis because I was talking to someone about the text. I’ve been on a mission to re-read Genesis 50 times. I’ve spent considerable time with this book, and I noticed something I had never considered before simply because I was willing to sit down and discuss the text with someone. Basically, I missed the point of the text and only discovered this by talking about it.

I have no doubt that God will do powerful things for us over the next 14 weeks, and through us as we study his word together. I also believe that all of us will discover things that we haven’t seen in these texts before. My prayer is we listen to the voices of “many advisors,” reexamine our view in light of others, but most importantly, we consider what the Scripture actually says, and grow in the grace and wisdom of the Lord. And when we do this cooperatively in community, maybe then we will better identify the elephant in the room.

See you Sunday!

Why does God allow bad things to happen?

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Lamentations, Life, Prayer, Scripture

Why does God allow bad things to happen?

That’s a question that gets asked frequently and if I’m honest, I struggle with an appropriate answer to that question.

Why did my friend die tragically even though he followed Jesus?

Why is my friend barely hanging on to life even though he’s a pastor leading people to Jesus?

Why did that child die even though we know Jesus loves her?

I truly wish I had the ability to understand the universe as God does, to know how everything works out, ultimately for good.

But I don’t. I can’t always see it.

What I do know, through the storm, when sorrow like sea billows roll, is this:

I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

Lamentations 3:19-26 NIV

We sing songs around that part of Lamentations…probably the best known section of the lament because of that. But the lamenter continues:

For no one is cast off
by the Lord forever.
Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.
For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to anyone.

Lamentations 3:31-33 NIV

Did you notice that last part? He does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone. God isn’t diabolical and just eager to bring destruction on people. He doesn’t willingly bring these troubles to anyone.

I still don’t understand why we suffer, but I know that it’s not something God’s wants. He doesn’t willingly want us to suffer these afflictions and grief. And I do believe that his unfailing love brings compassion. Yes there is grief, yes there is suffering, but not every day is that way. Not every light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. Sometimes it’s his compassion made new every morning.

Trust in the Lord. Hope in the Lord. Rest in the Lord. His mercies are new every morning, and he does not willingly bring affliction and grief.

May the Lord grant us all peace today.

These Old Boots

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Scripture

These old boots are my favorite pair, though they are not my most comfortable boots. They are my favorite, even though I don’t wear them daily. They are my favorite, even when they make my feet hurt. Why, you might ask?

Though I can’t remember what year I bought them, I know I’ve had them at least 20 years. I graduated from high school wearing these boots. They are part of my memories and decision-making that influenced the course of my life. I wore them while driving my first and favorite car (1967 Ford Mustang). I wore them in college as I dated my fiance, performed recitals and concerts, traveled to Germany for mission work, and stood at the altar marrying my wife.

I’ve worn these boots as a band director, receiving awards, performing some of the best music with some of the most wonderful people. I’ve worn these boots playing in bands with friends of all kinds. They’ve been part of music festivals, church services, jam sessions, and our beloved Corona-concerts.

They have been part of every ministry I’ve ever worked in. They’ve been on my feet for every wedding I’ve ever officiated, and every funeral I’ve ever preached. These old boots have been torn up, patched up, and polished so many times I’ve lost count. Yet they still serve me well every time I put them on my feet.

I guess these are my favorite boots for what they help me remember. You see, these are my favorite boots, because God has led me through so much while I was wearing them. They aren’t special, they aren’t magical, they aren’t particularly valuable. But they remind me of my journey through life with God.

To remember is one of the major calls of Deuteronomy. Moses wants the people to remember what God has done for them. His hope is if the people remember their God’s provision and blessing, they will seek to bless Him with their faithfulness.

“…do not be afraid…remember well what the LORD your God did…”

Deuteronomy 7:18 NIV

“Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.”

Deuteronomy 8:2 NIV

“But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your ancestors, as it is today.”

Deuteronomy 8:18 NIV

“Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and the LORD your God redeemed you from there. That is why I command you to do this.”

Deuteronomy 24:18 NIV

Moses makes the point that we should not merely bounce through life day after day like a pinball, nor keep a checklist of rules. Instead, we remember. We should remember what God has done in the past, and expect his faithfulness and provision in the future. But we must remember to walk daily with him.

We must do this now more than ever. With the ever-increasing craziness of this world, it’s easy to get distracted and forget why we are here. We must remember. This is why every Sunday we stop to remember.

“This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.”

Luke 22:19 NIV

Remembering once a week isn’t enough, though. If we spend an hour a week remembering Christ and his sacrifice, there are 167 other hours each week that we forget.

There are so many ways to remember what God through Jesus has done for us. These old boots are simply old boots. But they help me remember.

So what helps you remember?

Excuse me, are you a pastor?

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Christianity, Life, Scripture
This post originally appeared on my Facebook page and sort of went viral. I decided to post it here for my readers who don’t follow me on Facebook as well. Blessings.

“Excuse me, are you a pastor?”

That question has always bothered me, especially when it comes out of the blue. I never know the motives behind the people who ask it, and I still don’t know what prompted a random woman in the airport to ask me that question. But for some reason, in the middle of the night, in an airport, as I tried to eat my dinner, there it was.

I was feeling grouchy yesterday as a day full of excitement and weeks of planning continued to fall apart all around me. It started with a rental car getting canceled, with no options to rebook. What was supposed to be a fun drive (and anyone who knows me knows I love road trips) turned into a last minute flight paired with a friend’s kindness to pick me up and drive me to my destination.

Everything started well. I had a fine morning, visited with friends, played my favorite new guitar, and talked with my wife as she dropped me off at the airport. Terrific lunch, read a book as I waited for my flight. And then something delayed our ability to take off on time. Once we boarded we were informed that severe weather was causing us to be rerouted around the storm. Instead of an hour layover in Chicago, our new path around the storm put us on the ground 10 minutes after my connecting flight was in the sky.

No worries, the flight attendant informed us, as we had already been rebooked on a flight that would take off about an hour after we landed. Upon landing in Chicago, we learned that that flight was delayed, and we were rebooked on another flight at 5pm. Then another at 7. Then at 9. Then at 11. Then 1am. Then 3am. And finally, canceled.

Did I mention I was grouchy? As much as I wanted to ignore this stranger in the Chicago airport, something made me respond in the affirmative. Not knowing what this woman’s motives were, I was relieved somewhat when she replied, “Thank God!” and sat down at the table next to mine. Over the next 45 minutes, she unloaded a lot of baggage she had been carrying (no pun intended) and how she had been struggling with her faith since moving to Chicago. She really needed to talk to someone, and I guess I and the other random stranger sitting at our row of tables fit the bill.

I still have no idea why she asked me that question, but I was able to use my gifts to help this weary traveler make a plan to return to church this Sunday. I then proceeded to customer service and stood in the never ending line behind all the angry and sleepy people in the wee hours of the morning who would now spend their night trying to sleep in the airport.

And then it happened again. This time, a lady much younger than me, tears streaming down her face, asking what she should do. She had been estranged from her family for some time and had made arrangements to fly cross-country to visit them and make amends. And now the welcome home plans and meetings looked like they might not happen because a flight had been canceled. While waiting in line to receive complimentary blankets and tooth paste, we visited about life, canceled flights, relationships, and a few minutes later she thanked me for being “the only kind and decent human I have spoken to all week.”

Did I mention I was grouchy? Well, I had been, but not so much any more. The next was a young man trying to get home and was frustrated that he couldn’t reserve a rental car (tell me about it brother), a woman next to me on the flight to the next city who was troubled while reading about the Holocost, and then a kind stranger who invited me to cut in front of them in the breakfast line.

As I get ready to board my next flight that will arrive at my original destination 20 hours behind schedule, I wonder who God will put in my path this time.

I don’t share this story to pat myself on the back, nor to encourage air travel or rental car use (did I mention I was…nevermind). But I encourage you to be who God has called you to be in the places he has placed you. Our Christian life does not exist solely within the walls of the church building. And regardless of if we are at work, at home, in a Bible class, or trying to sleep on the world’s most uncomfortable airport seating (looking at you, O’Hare International), we’re still called to be representatives of Christ and His Kingdom wherever we go.

Now, I wonder who God will put in your path this time?

“But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.”

1 Peter 3:15-16 NIV

Unless You Repent…

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Gospel of Luke, Psalms, Scripture

“Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans because they suffered this way? I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish. Or those eighteen who died when the tower in Siloam fell on them—do you think they were more guilty than all the others living in Jerusalem? I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish.”

Luke 13:2-5 NIV

DEVOTIONAL

Some followers of Jesus in Luke 13 seem to conclude that bad things happen only to bad people. Jesus is quick to remind them that judging others will not improve their situation. Casting blame and searching for reasons for every bad thing that happens simply doesn’t help. We stand before God, not compared to others, but based on our own heart.

Twice in these few verses, we are given the same statement: “But unless you repent, you too will all perish.” My experience has been Christians often encourage others (and theirselves) to feel sorry about what they’ve done…show remorse for past actions. But that’s not what Jesus is saying here; the statement is not simply about feeling guilty about what has already been done. Jesus wants us to deal with our past and make changes moving forward.

Christ is calling us to not compare our situations with others…that creates a false standard… nor do we ignore the sins of the past and move on. Instead, we must face our wrongs and make changes in the present, so that our future is in accordance with God’s will.

Don’t ignore the past, but don’t get trapped in it either. We must not turn a blind eye to the ugly side of our past and allow those wrongs to continue. Instead, we compare our lives to Christ, make amends to God and others we have harmed by our sin, and then change our actions and systems to promote righteousness and justice moving forward.

This is exactly what David models for us in Psalm 51. After David committed murder to cover up his sexual wickedness toward Bathsheba, Nathan the prophet points out David’s sin. David’s repentance is captured in the words of Psalm 51. Read it slowly and notice how David addresses the past sins, makes amends to God in the present by seeking forgiveness, and then looks ahead at future actions he will do to change the course of his life.

And now the hard part. Take an honest look at your life. Is there anything in your past you haven’t dealt with? Are there any sins that still linger in the present? Have you asked God for forgiveness and direction going forward? Have you changed your actions so this sin doesn’t continue to plague you in the future? Good intentions are well and good, “but unless you repent, you too will all perish.”

PRAYER

Lord, convict us. Show us our sins and guide us to deal with the past before looking to the future. Help us remove everything from our lives that is sinful, remove our judgmental spirit, and help us reflect Christ, and Christ alone. Forgive us, Lord, for passing judgment on others, assuming their guilt, and presuming our innocence. May our repentance, our faith, and our fellowship show the world your greatness and love. Through the name and power of our Lord and Savior, Jesus. Amen.