Dead Together, Alive Together — Life in the Spirit and the “We” of Romans 8

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Scripture

As we’ve moved through Romans, Paul has consistently redirected the church away from individual superiority and toward shared transformation. Justification by faith removes boasting. Allegiance to Christ reshapes life. And now Paul addresses a concern that inevitably arises:

If grace is this abundant, should we just keep sinning?

Paul’s response is immediate and forceful: By no means.

Dying with Christ Changes Everything

Paul grounds his answer in baptism.

“Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.”  (Rom 6:3-4)

This is not just individual theology—it is communal identity.

The Roman church didn’t just believe the same message. They died the same death.

Sin no longer defines them. The law no longer holds authority over those who have died. They now belong to the risen Christ.

So Paul asks the obvious question: if you all died, and you all now live in Christ, what exactly are you fighting about?

Division often happens when we try to resurrect the old self that God already put to death.

Paul urges the church to consider themselves dead to sin and alive to God. Sin is no longer their master. Grace reigns.

Released from the Law, Led by the Spirit

Paul extends this argument in Romans 7. The law has authority only over the living—and believers have died with Christ. The law exposed sin and pronounced death, but it cannot rule over those who have already died and risen with Jesus.

Believers now serve not by written code, but by the Spirit of the living God.

This reinforces what Paul has already said earlier in the letter: true covenant identity is Spirit-formed, not law-marked.

Still, Paul is realistic. Sin’s presence remains. The struggle is real. Even the redeemed wrestle with competing desires.

“Who will rescue me from this body of death?” Paul cries.

And then comes the answer: Jesus Christ our Lord.

Reading Romans 8 as “We,” Not Just “Me”

Romans 8 is often read as a deeply personal chapter—and it is. But after walking through the entire letter, it becomes clear that Paul is not speaking only to individuals.

He is speaking to a divided church.

“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Rom 8:1)

Not some of you.
Not the “right” group.
All of you who are in Christ.

The Spirit who raised Jesus lives in y’all (the you is plural). The Spirit testifies that we are God’s children. We are heirs together. We suffer together. We hope together.

Paul has spends fifteen chapters of Romans forming this “we.”

So when Paul declares that nothing can separate us from the love of God, he is not just comforting individuals—he is confronting division in this church. In members who look at the other and believe God doesn’t love them.

But if God does not condemn us, who are we to condemn one another?

If God has justified us, who dares bring a charge?

One Spirit, One Hope, One Body

Romans 8 culminates the argument Paul has been making all along. The gospel is not just something to believe—it is a reality to live.

Jew and Gentile.

Weak and strong.

All justified.

All reconciled.

All indwelt by the same Spirit.

The Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead lives in us.

And that Spirit empowers us to put aside pride, judgment, and division, and to live as one body in Christ.

When the church embodies this unity—when faith becomes allegiance, and allegiance becomes action—the world sees the gospel made visible.

Nothing can separate us.

Not law.
Not sin.
Not suffering.
Not differences.

Because we are one in Christ Jesus our Lord.

This blog post is part of a series of posts on Paul’s letter to the Roman Church. You can see the rest of the posts here.

  1. When the Gospel Replaces Power with Peace
  2. Strong, Weak, and the Call to Build One Another Up
  3. Shared Story, Shared Family—Romans 9 and the People of God
  4. Grafted Together — Romans 10-11 and the Gospel of Unity
  5. One Gospel, Common Ground — Unity from the Very Beginning of Romans
  6. Same Problem, Same Grace — How Faith Makes Us One
  7. No Advantage, No Boasting — Faith That Levels the Church
  8. Dead Together, Alive Together — Life in the Spirit and the “We” of Romans 8

No Advantage, No Boasting — Faith That Levels the Church

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Romans, Scripture

Throughout this Romans series, we’ve watched Paul patiently dismantle every reason the Roman church might use to divide itself. From the opening greeting to the sweeping argument of justification by faith, Paul has made one thing unmistakably clear: no group stands higher than another at the foot of the cross.

In the previous posts, we saw how Paul exposed humanity’s shared problem—sin—and God’s shared solution—faith in Jesus Christ. Jew and Gentile alike are guilty. Jew and Gentile alike are rescued by grace through faith in Jesus. And yet, division persisted in Rome.

So Paul presses deeper.

When Heritage Becomes a Claim to Superiority

At this point in the letter, Paul anticipates the resistance of Jewish Christians who might say, “Surely we have an advantage. Look at what God has done through Abraham’s family. We were given the law. We received circumcision.”

Paul’s response is honest and humbling.

Yes—Israel gave the world the Messiah.
Yes—the Scriptures came through Abraham’s descendants.

But privilege does not cancel sin.

“What shall we conclude then? Do we have any advantage? Not at all! For we have already made the charge that Jews and Gentiles alike are all under the power of sin.” (Rom 3:9)

This echoes what we established earlier in the series: righteousness is not inherited, achieved, or protected by tradition. Sin does not respect lineage. And salvation is not triggered by religious markers.

Paul dismantles the idea that possessing or following the law makes anyone righteous. In fact, the law does the opposite—it exposes guilt. Break it once, and you stand guilty of all of it.

And this leads Paul to his most important declaration so far.

Righteousness Revealed Apart from the Law

“But now…”

These two words signal a turning point not just in Romans, but in the entire story of Scripture.

Apart from the law, the righteousness of God has been revealed. It is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference. All have sinned. All are justified freely by grace (Romans 3:21–24).

This is the leveling of the playing field we’ve been tracking since the beginning of the series. No advantage. No boasting. No leverage.

And Paul goes even further.

Abraham Proves the Point

If circumcision truly justified someone, Abraham would have been declared righteous after circumcision.

But Scripture says otherwise.

“Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness” (Romans 4:3).

Paul emphasizes the timing. Abraham was justified before circumcision. Faith—not the sign—was decisive.

Once again, Paul eliminates every attempt to rank believers. Circumcision was a sign of covenant loyalty, not the means of salvation. Faith—pistis—was always the foundation.

And Paul hammers this relentlessly. From Romans 3:22 to 5:2, Paul references faith or belief 26 times. This is not accidental. He wants the church to feel the weight of it.

Faith as Allegiance, Not Abstraction

As we discussed earlier in this series, faith is not mere mental agreement. The Greek word pistis is better understood as allegiance—a lived loyalty that reshapes one’s life.

I highly recommend reading Gospel Allegiance by Matthew Bates on this subject.

We can “believe” many things without changing anything about how we live. But allegiance always produces action.

Faith has verbs.

This is why Paul insists that justification by faith does not lead to moral laziness. It leads to transformed loyalty. A church that truly pledges allegiance to Jesus must act like it belongs to Him.

And that action is most clearly seen in how believers treat one another.

A divided church cannot effectively proclaim a reconciling gospel.

Peace with God—and With Each Other

Romans 5 opens with the fruit of allegiance-faith: peace.

“Since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ” (Romans 5:1).

But this peace does not stop with God. It must overflow into the community of believers. Paul acknowledges the church’s suffering—not primarily from outside persecution, but from internal strife.

And yet, Paul insists this suffering is not wasted. God uses it to form perseverance, character, and hope—not hope that one group wins, but hope that God will be faithful to unify His people.

God proves His love not by choosing sides, but by pouring out His Spirit on both Jew and Gentile.

Christ died for the ungodly—all of us.

And if we were enemies of God who are now reconciled through Christ, how can we justify remaining enemies of one another?

That question carries us into Paul’s next movement: dying to sin and living a new life together.

This blog post is part of a series of posts on Paul’s letter to the Roman Church. You can see the rest of the posts here.

  1. When the Gospel Replaces Power with Peace
  2. Strong, Weak, and the Call to Build One Another Up
  3. Shared Story, Shared Family—Romans 9 and the People of God
  4. Grafted Together — Romans 10-11 and the Gospel of Unity
  5. One Gospel, Common Ground — Unity from the Very Beginning of Romans
  6. Same Problem, Same Grace — How Faith Makes Us One
  7. No Advantage, No Boasting — Faith That Levels the Church
  8. Dead Together, Alive Together — Life in the Spirit and the “We” of Romans 8

Same Problem, Same Grace — How Faith Makes Us One

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Romans, Scripture

As we established earlier in this series, Paul’s goal in Romans is not to win an argument—it is to heal a church. That healing requires radical honesty. And Romans 2 begins with exactly that.

“You have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else.”

Paul dismantles moral superiority by reminding the church that judging others while also being guilty of sin is nothing less than self-condemnation. Both Jewish and Gentile believers are guilty.

“There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God…” (Rom 3:22-23)

As we’ve already seen, the gospel places everyone under the same authority: God’s judgment is real, impartial, and unavoidable. No ethnic group receives special treatment. No religious heritage grants immunity.

Unity begins with shared accountability.

When Religion Becomes a Stumbling Block

Paul then turns specifically to the Jewish believers, not to shame them, but to expose how privilege can distort faith.

They claim to guide others but fail to guide themselves. They condemn others while committing the same sins. And Paul quotes Isaiah to drive the point home:

“God’s name is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.” (Rom 2:24; Isa 52:5)

In other words, disunity does not remain internal. It distorts the witness of Jesus.

Circumcision, Paul explains, has value only if the law is kept perfectly. Break the law, and circumcision becomes meaningless. Meanwhile, Gentiles who obey God without the law stand as a rebuke to those who boast in it.

True covenant identity, Paul insists, is not external. It is a matter of the heart—transformed by the Spirit of the Living God.

And as we’ve already noted in previous posts, the Spirit does not discriminate. He falls on Jews (Acts 2) and Gentiles (Acts 10) alike.

Same Spirit.
Same standing.
Same grace.

All Under Sin are Offered Rescue

Romans 3 brings Paul’s argument to a crescendo. Quoting Israel’s own worship songs—the Psalms—Paul reminds the church of what they already confess weekly: no one is righteous.

Without Christ, sin reigns.

The law reveals sin, but it cannot rescue from it. And then Paul delivers the turning point that reshapes everything:

“But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.” (Rom 3:21-24)

God’s righteousness has been revealed apart from the law. It is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe.

As we’ve emphasized throughout this series, justification is like aligning margins. God does not erase differences of culture or conscience—but He equalizes standing before Him.

All have sinned.
All are justified freely.
All stand by grace.

Abraham and the End of Boasting

Paul seals his argument by returning to Abraham—the shared patriarch of Jews and Gentiles alike.

Abraham was justified by faith before circumcision. Before the law. Before ethnic boundary markers.

Circumcision was a sign of commitment, not the source of righteousness.

If Abraham was made right by faith alone, then imposing law observance as a requirement for righteousness undermines the very story Israel treasures.

Abraham is the father of many nations. And those who share his faith share his promise.

Peace, Hope, and the Spirit We Share

Paul closes this section by returning to what justification produces: peace with God, access to grace, and hope that does not disappoint.

Why does hope endure?

Because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit—the same Spirit given to all who believe.

Same problem.
Same solution.
Same Spirit.

And therefore, one people—called not to erase differences, but to live in unity shaped by the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Paul’s words to the Galatian believers summarizes this point well.

“May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. Neither circumcision nor uncircumcision means anything; what counts is the new creation. Peace and mercy to all who follow this rule—to the Israel of God.” (Gal 6:14-16) 

This blog post is part of a series of posts on Paul’s letter to the Roman Church. You can see the rest of the posts here.

  1. When the Gospel Replaces Power with Peace
  2. Strong, Weak, and the Call to Build One Another Up
  3. Shared Story, Shared Family—Romans 9 and the People of God
  4. Grafted Together — Romans 10-11 and the Gospel of Unity
  5. One Gospel, Common Ground — Unity from the Very Beginning of Romans
  6. Same Problem, Same Grace — How Faith Makes Us One
  7. No Advantage, No Boasting — Faith That Levels the Church
  8. Dead Together, Alive Together — Life in the Spirit and the “We” of Romans 8

One Gospel, Common Ground — Unity from the Very Beginning of Romans

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Romans, Scripture

In the previous posts in this series, we’ve worked carefully through Paul’s argument that the Roman church shares one story and belongs to one family. Jew and Gentile alike have been grafted into God’s covenant faithfulness through Jesus Christ. There is no “better group,” no privileged side of the aisle—only mercy received and grace extended.

That foundational truth leads us to a necessary conclusion:

Our shared story and our shared righteousness in Christ give us no right to divide from other brothers and sisters in Christ.

We are all made righteous by Christ.
We are all sinners and broken.
And none of us get to impose our will on others.

Paul is not promoting uniformity. He is promoting unity.

What’s remarkable is that Paul does not wait until the middle of Romans to make this case. He embeds it directly into the opening of the letter. Long before he addresses food laws, holy days, or the “weak and strong,” Paul establishes an understanding that makes division seem ridiculous from the very beginning.

The Gospel That Levels the Playing Field

As we saw in earlier posts, Romans is not a generic theological treatise. It is a pastoral letter written to a divided church. That context matters as we read Paul’s opening words.

Paul introduces himself as a servant of Christ Jesus, set apart for the gospel of God—a gospel promised beforehand through Israel’s Scriptures and fulfilled in Jesus (Romans 1:1–3). From the outset, Paul connects Jewish hope and Gentile inclusion into a single story.

Jesus is described as a descendant of David and, through the Spirit of Holiness, appointed Son of God in power by the resurrection. That phrase—Spirit of Holiness—would have resonated deeply with Jewish hearers. But “Son of God” would have rung loudly in Roman ears as well.

Caesar claimed that title.

Paul is quietly but unmistakably declaring that Jesus—not the emperor, not ethnic identity, not cultural authority—has been enthroned as Lord. And He was crowned not by military conquest, but by resurrection.

No emperor has risen from the dead.

That matters because once Jesus is confessed as Lord, no subgroup within the church gets to claim dominance. We all have a future resurrection awaiting us, thus we stand together under Christ’s Lordship.

Allegiance to Christ removes every other claim to authority.

Obedience That Comes from Faith

Paul explains that his apostleship exists to call all nations—Gentiles included—to “the obedience that comes from faith” (Romans 1:5). As we’ve seen repeatedly throughout this series, this phrase is central to Paul’s vision.

Obedience does not produce righteousness.
Faith produces obedience.

This places every believer on equal footing. Jew and Gentile. Slave and free. Torah-observant and non-observant. No one earns justification. Everyone receives it by faith.

Even Paul’s greeting reflects this unity. He blends charis (grace), a common Greek greeting, with shalom (peace), the traditional Jewish greeting. Grace and peace are not competing values—they belong together. The same is true of those who use those greetings in the church.

Before Paul corrects the church, he greets them as one people.

Mutual Encouragement, Not Spiritual Hierarchy

Paul’s desire to visit Rome is not about asserting authority. He wants to visit for the sake of mutual encouragement—shared faith strengthening one another (Romans 1:11–12).

This reinforces what we’ve already seen in earlier posts: spiritual gifts exist for mutual edification, not leverage (see Paul’s comments on 1 Corinthians 12-14 for more on this). The gospel dismantles hierarchy inside the church.

Paul even binds himself to both sides of the Roman divide, describing his obligation to Greeks and non-Greeks, the wise and the foolish (Romans 1:14). He refuses to sort the church into spiritual classes of winners and losers—right verses wrong.

That’s why Paul insists on preaching the gospel to people who already believe. Because the gospel does not merely save—it reshapes communities into the likeness of Christ.

Righteousness Revealed, Boasting Removed

Romans 1:16–17 introduces the thesis of the entire letter: the gospel reveals God’s righteousness, a righteousness received by faith from beginning to end.

As we’ve already explored in previous posts, this righteousness is not something we achieve—it is something God gives. And once righteousness is received rather than earned, boasting has nowhere to stand.

Which brings us to humanity’s shared problem.

Paul’s discussion of sin in Romans 1 is not aimed at outsiders alone. The list of sins—envy, strife, deceit, gossip, arrogance, lack of mercy—mirrors the very behavior dividing the Roman church.

The warning is clear: when believers fail to recognize what God is doing through the gospel—when unity is suppressed in favor of judgment—people experience the consequences of their own sinful divisions.

That leads directly into Paul’s confrontation in Romans 2.

This blog post is part of a series of posts on Paul’s letter to the Roman Church. You can see the rest of the posts here.

  1. When the Gospel Replaces Power with Peace
  2. Strong, Weak, and the Call to Build One Another Up
  3. Shared Story, Shared Family—Romans 9 and the People of God
  4. Grafted Together — Romans 10-11 and the Gospel of Unity
  5. One Gospel, Common Ground — Unity from the Very Beginning of Romans
  6. Same Problem, Same Grace — How Faith Makes Us One
  7. No Advantage, No Boasting — Faith That Levels the Church
  8. Dead Together, Alive Together — Life in the Spirit and the “We” of Romans 8

Grafted Together — Romans 10–11 and the Gospel of Unity

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Church health, Romans, Scripture

Romans 9–11 speaks powerfully to both sides of the Roman church’s divide—but Paul is intentional in how he addresses each group.

In Romans 9–10, Paul speaks primarily to the weak—mostly Jewish believers who felt both privileged by their heritage and threatened by the Gentiles’ freedom.

Paul begins with deep sorrow and love for his people. He acknowledges Israel’s immense advantage: adoption, covenants, law, worship, promises, and the Messiah Himself. But then he draws a painful line.

Heritage does not equal righteousness.

Being descended from Abraham does not automatically make someone part of what Paul means by “Israel.” True belonging has always been rooted in promise, not genealogy, and in faith, not accomplishment.

Romans 10 drives the point home: Israel was zealous—but sought righteousness in the wrong place. They tried to establish their own righteousness rather than submitting to God’s righteousness revealed in Christ.

That’s the warning.

The comfort is this: God has not abandoned Israel. He is keeping His promises—but He is keeping them through Jesus, not Torah observance.

Righteousness comes by faith.
For Jews.
For Gentiles.
For the weak.
For the strong.

And only by faith in Jesus can we be considered righteous before God.

A Word to the Strong

Then Paul turns to the strong—the Gentiles who had remained in Rome, gained influence, and were tempted toward arrogance.

To make his point, Paul uses one of the most vivid metaphors in Scripture: the olive tree.

Gentiles are wild branches grafted into Israel’s cultivated root. They share in the nourishment—but they do not support the root. The root supports them.

Paul’s warning is sharp:
Do not be arrogant.
Do not bully the weak.
Do not mistake grace for entitlement.

God grafted you in by kindness—and He can cut you off if you aren’t bearing Christlike fruit.

Love for one another is our responsibility.
Judgment is God’s responsibility.

The strong do not get to weaponize God’s judgment against the weak. They do not get to impose their will, erase conscience, or rewrite the story to center themselves.

Unity is not optional in the church because it is the gospel lived out for the world to see.

Living the Story We Proclaim

Paul insists that divisions within the body of Christ contradict the message of reconciliation we claim to believe.

Strong looking down on weak is sinful.
Weak imposing control over strong is sinful.

Why?

Because neither reflects the story God is telling—the story of two becoming one, of branches grafted together, of enemies reconciled into family.

We are called not only to believe the gospel of unity—but to embody it through the way we live and worship together.

Our relationships preach to the world around us.

They preach to Gentiles.
They preach to Jews.
They preach to a watching world desperate for something better than power struggles and tribalism.

And Paul’s conclusion is clear:

God is faithful—to Israel, to the Gentiles, to the weak, and to the strong. Our God is always faithful.

Therefore, the strong must embrace the weak.
The weak must welcome the strong.
And together, they must live as one family in Christ Jesus.

Because anything less distorts the gospel we claim to proclaim.

This blog post is part of a series of posts on Paul’s letter to the Roman Church. You can see the rest of the posts here.

  1. When the Gospel Replaces Power with Peace
  2. Strong, Weak, and the Call to Build One Another Up
  3. Shared Story, Shared Family—Romans 9 and the People of God
  4. Grafted Together — Romans 10-11 and the Gospel of Unity
  5. One Gospel, Common Ground — Unity from the Very Beginning of Romans
  6. Same Problem, Same Grace — How Faith Makes Us One
  7. No Advantage, No Boasting — Faith That Levels the Church
  8. Dead Together, Alive Together — Life in the Spirit and the “We” of Romans 8

Shared Story, Shared Family — Romans 9 and the People of God

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Church health, Romans, Scripture

In my last two blog posts, we’ve worked to establish the context of Paul’s letter to the Romans. This was not a calm, unified church receiving abstract theology. It was a deeply divided community—primarily along ethnic lines—trying to follow Jesus in the heart of the Roman Empire.

Emperor Claudius had expelled Jewish Christians from Rome, leaving Gentiles to shape the church’s life and leadership. When Jewish believers eventually returned, the church they came back to no longer felt like home. Customs had changed. Power had shifted. And before long, the church found itself divided into two camps Paul famously calls “the weak” and “the strong.”

The strong could tolerate more.
The weak could not.

And the strong interpreted the weak’s convictions as a sign of inferior faith.

If that sounds distant or theoretical, it shouldn’t.

During the COVID pandemic, I watched churches fracture along similar lines. I got to see this personally in two congregations. One congregations had many members who worked in medical professions. The other half were mostly farmers and oil field workers. They were working with different data, different risks, and different lived realities—and some began accusing the other side of having weak faith based on the decisions they made in good conscience.

One church leader proudly proclaimed to me, “Not one thing has changed in my life since this nonsense started. I don’t know what everyone’s problem is.”

And at the same time, I buried dear friends who died of COVID and from suicide during the pandemic. I also buried my grandmother whose funeral would normally have exceeded capacity of the church building. Instead, it was only a few family members in attendance due to regulations.

Everything in my life changed.

This is not an ancient problem. It is a human one.

And so Paul writes Romans to show the church how to replace power and privilege with the peace that comes from the gospel, so they can become a truly righteous community.

Righteousness Begins with Relationships

Here’s a main theme in Romans—one that’s easy to miss:

If we do not allow the gospel of Jesus Christ to shape how we relate to one another, we are not a righteous community.

If we do not allow the gospel to shape our understanding of peace, we are not righteous.

And if we insist on defining righteousness on our own terms rather than God’s, we will never stand righteous before Him.

That is why Romans 9–11 matters so much.

Paul does something unexpected here. Instead of focusing on individual salvation, he zooms out to tell a story—a shared story—reminding the church who they are together.

A Shared Story, Not Competing Stories

Romans 9–11 is packed with names and narratives.

Abraham and Sarah
Isaac and Rebecca
Jacob and Esau
Moses and Pharaoh
David
Elijah
Hosea
Isaiah
Exile and return
Failure and mercy

These are not random references. Paul is reminding the church that they belong to a long, unfolding story of God’s covenant faithfulness.

And here’s the key:
Paul is not asking, “Which individuals will be saved?”
He is asking, “Who are the people of God?”

That distinction changes everything.

Romans 9:4–5 lists Israel’s privileges—covenants, law, worship, promises, patriarchs, and the Messiah Himself. And Paul emphasizes something shocking:

God accomplished all of this through the weak.

Paul’s argument is not about superiority…about who’s right and who is wrong. It’s about faith. God has always worked through unlikely people, flawed families, and broken systems to accomplish His purposes. And the people he chose to work through were chosen because of faith.

One Family, One Promise

What Paul reveals is that God’s plan was never ethnic exclusivity. It was always inclusion of the other.

God has been faithful to Abraham’s family in order to include the nations in his salvation.

This one family—Jew and Gentile together—is what Paul elsewhere calls “the Israel of God” (Galatians 6:15–16). Not defined by circumcision or uncircumcision, but by living the new creation reality in Christ.

This means Romans is not telling their story.

It’s telling our story.

When our story culminates in Christ—when righteousness comes not from heritage, law, or effort, but from Jesus—blame dissolves. Superiority collapses. Division loses its footing.

You are not the problem.
I am not the solution.
We are the people God is redeeming.
Together we are the Israel of God.

And that changes how we see one another.

This blog post is part of a series of posts on Paul’s letter to the Roman Church. You can see the rest of the posts here.

  1. When the Gospel Replaces Power with Peace
  2. Strong, Weak, and the Call to Build One Another Up
  3. Shared Story, Shared Family—Romans 9 and the People of God
  4. Grafted Together — Romans 10-11 and the Gospel of Unity
  5. One Gospel, Common Ground — Unity from the Very Beginning of Romans
  6. Same Problem, Same Grace — How Faith Makes Us One
  7. No Advantage, No Boasting — Faith That Levels the Church
  8. Dead Together, Alive Together — Life in the Spirit and the “We” of Romans 8

Strong, Weak, and the Call to Build One Another Up

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Church health, Romans

One of the most misunderstood sections of Romans is Paul’s discussion of “the strong” and “the weak.”

The issue appears simple—food laws, holy days, personal convictions—but Paul reveals something much deeper: the danger of confusing personal conviction with spiritual superiority.

The “strong” were likely mostly Gentiles, confident in their freedom.

They felt they were superior knowing food sacrificed to idols was a farce, and they had no qualms eating it and praising the Lord for it.

The “weak” were likely mostly Jewish believers, shaped by Torah and conscience.

For them, such actions offended their sensibilities, and they felt victimized that others in the church wouldn’t adopt their practices on such issues.

The two groups hold polar opposite views.

And Paul does something surprising.

He refuses to tell us who is right.

Instead, he tells us who is responsible.

Acceptance Without Agreement

Paul opens Romans 14 with a radical command:

“Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters.”

Acceptance is not based on agreement with each other—it is based on our mutual standing before God.

The strong must not despise.
The weak must not judge.

Why?

Because God has accepted both.

Paul reinforces this by introducing a parallel issue—holy days.

Some observe them. Some ignore them.

Again, Paul refuses to pick sides.

Each must be fully convinced in their own mind. Each one’s beliefs and actions on these matters are done “to the Lord.”

Uniformity is not Paul’s goal. Unity is.

Living Before God, Not Each Other

Paul reminds the church that none of us live—or die—for ourselves.

Every decision we make is lived before God.

When we judge motives, we place ourselves in God’s seat. When we prioritize our rights and our desires over love, we forget who the church belongs to.

Paul’s warning is sobering:

“Why do you judge your brother or sister? … We will all stand before God’s judgment seat.”

Unity breaks down when we stop asking, “Does this honor God?” and start asking, “Do I like this?”

Rights, Love, and the Kingdom of God

Paul acknowledges freedom—but he reframes it.

The kingdom of God is not about eating and drinking.
It is about righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.

The question is not, “Am I allowed?”
The question is, “Am I building up my brothers and sisters in Christ, or am I tearing down members of Christ’s body?”

True gospel freedom expresses itself through self-limiting love.

Paul’s call is not to abandon conviction—but to consider it less important than loving one another.

Christ, the Ultimate Example

Paul closes this section by pointing us to Jesus.

Christ did not please himself.
Christ bore insults.
Christ became a servant for Jews and Gentiles alike so that with one voice, God might be glorified.

This is what righteousness looks like in community.

Not power.
Not privilege.
Not control.

But peace.

And when the church lives this way, the gospel is no longer just proclaimed—it is visible.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him.”

That is Paul’s prayer.
And it remains God’s invitation to the church today.

This blog post is part of a series of posts on Paul’s letter to the Roman Church. You can see the rest of the posts here.

  1. When the Gospel Replaces Power with Peace
  2. Strong, Weak, and the Call to Build One Another Up
  3. Shared Story, Shared Family—Romans 9 and the People of God
  4. Grafted Together — Romans 10-11 and the Gospel of Unity
  5. One Gospel, Common Ground — Unity from the Very Beginning of Romans
  6. Same Problem, Same Grace — How Faith Makes Us One
  7. No Advantage, No Boasting — Faith That Levels the Church
  8. Dead Together, Alive Together — Life in the Spirit and the “We” of Romans 8
Unity in Diversity in Romans

When the Gospel Replaces Power with Peace

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Church health, Romans

Romans can be a complicated read.

It’s is not a letter you rush through. It is dense, pastoral, theological, and deeply practical. Trying to distill its message into a handful of lessons (in the way Romans is often taught) is a tall order…one I had to accomplish recently at an adult retreat for another church in our area.

In my experience, Romans is usually referenced, but not studied. It’s venerated for being “theological,” but never really wrestled with by church Bible studies.

But Romans was never written to be admired from a distance. It’s not supposed to be a theology textbook. It was written to shape a community.

And the struggle the Roman church faced is not all that different from the struggles our churches in the United States face today.

Before Paul ever gets into the weeds of doctrine, justification, or the Spirit, he is addressing a church fractured by power, privilege, and competing visions of righteousness. His aim is nothing less than replacing those things with the peace that comes from the gospel of Jesus Christ.

That purpose is captured succinctly in Romans 1:17:

“For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed—a righteousness that is by faith from first to last.”

If the righteousness of God is revealed in the gospel, then the gospel must transform us. God’s righteousness is not meant to be added onto our existing assumptions—it is meant to replace them.

Put simply:
If I want to be among “the righteous who live by faith,” I must adopt God’s definition of righteousness, not my own. And that only happens through faith in Jesus Christ, revealed through the gospel.

When “Righteous Community” Gets Complicated

Early in my ministry, I experienced firsthand what happens when a church says it wants to be righteous—but hasn’t fully allowed the gospel to redefine what righteousness looks like.

A church I was working for had been stagnant for a while. Leadership was dwindling. The preacher was nearing retirement. Elders were ill or passing away. Deacon was largely a title, not the description of “service” one would expect. Growth had long since plateaued.

A few months after being hired as a youth minister fresh out of college, I unexpectedly became the preaching minister.

We wanted to be a righteous community—followers of Jesus committed to growing the kingdom and reaching the lost. And once we started doing that, people showed up.

New residents. Longtime locals turning their lives around. Newlyweds. Newly remarried. Newly re-remarried.

People were being baptized, and attendance grew.

Then one Sunday afternoon, the phone started ringing.

One tearful call after another. People telling me they would never step foot in our church again—maybe any church ever again.

A longtime member had taken it upon herself to call these new people and tell them they were not welcome at “her church.”

That same day, an elder resigned after receiving threats from the same person—because, in her mind, leadership was letting “ruining” her church.

That story still haunts me. Not because it’s unique—but because it’s far too familiar.

When the church we know starts to look different, we can begin acting in profoundly un-Christlike ways. If we are not intentionally shaped by the gospel, we will default to protecting our preferences, our comfort, and our sense of control—and we will destroy our witness about Christ in the process.

The Problem in Rome

The Roman church faced its own version of this crisis.

The gospel had taken root in Rome, but history complicated everything. Emperor Claudius expelled Jews from the city, forcing Jewish Christians to leave (see Acts 18:2). Gentile believers became the majority. Leadership shifted. Customs changed.

Eventually, Jewish believers returned.

And when they did, the church looked different. Bacon was being served at the potluck, so to speak.

What they experienced felt like a loss of power, influence, and identity. And that perceived loss produced division.

Rome itself reinforced hierarchy:
– Citizens over non-citizens.
– Men over women.
– Free people over slaves.

And yet, when Paul lists the members of the Roman churches in Romans 16, the picture is stunning.

Women in leadership. Gentiles entrusted with Scripture. Slaves named alongside free people. House churches filled with diversity.

Phoebe—a Gentile woman—is the deacon letter carrier, interpreter, and likely the one who performed Romans before the congregations.

Paul could have solved the tension by sorting people into separate churches. Jews meet with Jews, and Gentiles meet with Gentiles. That’s the easy solution.

But Paul didn’t do that.

Instead, he wrote Romans pleading with both groups to be unified.

Because unity in diversity is not a problem to fix—it is the gospel on display.

The righteousness of God is revealed not just in what the church believes, but in how it lives together.

And therein lies the lesson for American churches. Instead of constantly attacking each other over minor differences in understanding, instead of separating along racial lines, instead of maintaining the “us versus them” identity wars in the pulpits, we should be united.

We serve one Lord.

We share one baptism.

The same Spirit points us to the same Savior.

Our likeness far outweighs our differences. And that’s what Paul emphasizes to the Roman church.

“There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”

Maybe if we will focus on Paul’s message in Romans, then our churches can begin to embrace the unity in diversity that proclaims the Gospel rather than our divided communities that preach against it.

This blog post is part of a series of posts on Paul’s letter to the Roman Church. You can see the rest of the posts here.

  1. When the Gospel Replaces Power with Peace
  2. Strong, Weak, and the Call to Build One Another Up
  3. Shared Story, Shared Family—Romans 9 and the People of God
  4. Grafted Together — Romans 10-11 and the Gospel of Unity
  5. One Gospel, Common Ground — Unity from the Very Beginning of Romans
  6. Same Problem, Same Grace — How Faith Makes Us One
  7. No Advantage, No Boasting — Faith That Levels the Church
  8. Dead Together, Alive Together — Life in the Spirit and the “We” of Romans 8

Divorce and Remarriage in the Church

The Apostle Paul and Divorce

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Marriage and Divorce, Scripture

Previously, we’ve looked at divorce thoroughly from the beginning of Scripture, up well into the New Testament. Those previous writings were God’s Divorce, Divorce in Israel – Part 1, Divorce in Israel – Part 2, Divorce in Israel – Part 3, Biblical Divorce and Jesus – Part 1, and Biblical Divorce and Jesus Part 2. If you haven’t read those entries, then you may find yourself lost as we navigate this next section that covers the Apostle Paul’s understanding of divorce.

Words Matter

In 1 Corinthians 7, we come across an important word that needs clarification. The Greek word ἄγαμος (pronounced “hog-a-moss”) is only found in the New Testament four times. All four of those uses are by Paul, and all four occur here 1 Corinthians 7. What this means for us is Paul’s usage of ἄγαμος should define its meaning for purposes of Biblical disucssion.

The woman of 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 has walked out on her husband for an unspecified reason, and their marriage has ended. The NIV here uses the word “separate” for this marriage, which is the same word Jesus uses in Matthew 19:6. This marriage is over, and the now divorced woman is said to be ἄγαμος, which the NIV translates as “unmarried.” Now that she is divorced, she is in a status of not having a spouse. She is unmarried.

In 1 Corinthians 7:8, Paul makes the same argument that Jesus does for being unmarried (ἄγαμος) as being a good idea.

8 Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 
The New International Version (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), 1 Co 7:8–9.

Now what’s interesting here is that very few people seem to have any issues with single people getting married, nor widows. I recently performed a wedding of two widows coming together in the years after their respective spouses did. Nobody protested that wedding. Nobody argued they were not supposed to remarry, and I have a feeling that’s because Paul is very clear here…it’s perfectly find for widows to remarry. Verse 9 makes that clear. In verse 8 Paul states his preference…it’s good to stay unmarried, but nobody tried to talk these widows out of getting married because Paul wanted them to remain single. It simply isn’t an argument people make.

Yet when it comes to divorced people, this argument is often made. People exclaim that a divorced person can never remarry, and claim their statement as being Biblical.

But did you notice what Paul actually said?

8 Now to the unmarried (ἄγαμος)…It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry….
The New International Version (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), 1 Co 7:8–9, emphasis added.

Did you catch that? Paul just indicated that the unmarried (ἄγαμος), regardless of how they are without a spouse, are able to remarry…they should marry if they find themselves longing for a spouse. This includes the divorced.

ἄγαμος refers to anyone who is in the status of not having a spouse. This would include the single who never married, those who are not quite marrying age yet, and the divorced. It doesn’t matter why you are unmarried. You are simply ἄγαμος if you have no spouse. And to this group, Paul says they should marry if they want.

“She must remain unmarried”

Now, back to a provision that Paul made in verse 11. It seems Paul is dealing with a specific issue—a real couple—in Corinth. After all, this entire discourse of Paul was because of “the matters [they] wrote about” to him (1 Cor 7:1). In the instance of verses 10 and 11, we have a woman who has walked out on her husband for no good cause it seems (listen to Dr. Michael Heiser and David Instone-Brewer for more detail). To that woman who has just up and left her spouse, Paul says her divorce is not legitimate, and her husband here should not divorce her either. They need to try to reconcile that marriage if at all possible.

And that’s the point, reconcile if at all possible. Marriage isn’t something we enter into lightly, and should never exit from lightly. And if the woman of verse 10 and 11 remarries, then she can no longer reconcile with her husband. Paul is encouraging this woman to not give up on this marriage because they did not have legitimate grounds for divorce. This is sin on the part of this woman, and Paul wants them to try to reconcile. And let’s be clear, they may not be able to reconcile. But if she remarries, then Deuteronomy 24 would clearly condemn them from being able to reconcile.

What About Previous Illegitimate Divorces?

As I recounted elsewhere, I know a couple that is happily married, and had been so for decades at the time this story took place. They had been out of the church for a very long time, and had finally come back to a church and began to worship and get plugged in. After some time had passed, some of the church leaders came to visit this couple. The church leaders told this happily married couple they should divorce even though their marriage was healthy because they had both been married previously. The church leaders never asked about their previous marriages, or details about why they were divorced. They had simply been married before, and been divorced. And while they were unmarried (ἄγαμος), they met each other, fell in love, and formed a God-honoring marriage that had lasted for decades (and still remains today). Apparently in the minds of that church, two divorces were better than one. That couple left that church and never went back, and rightly so in my opinion.

Let’s consider what else Paul has to say in 1 Corinthians 7 in addition to the fact that the unmarried (ἄγαμος), divorced or otherwise, are able to remarry.

17 Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches.

 The New International Version (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), 1 Co 7:17.

Paul’s indication is regardless of your marital status, regardless of your past, stay where you are. If you’re single, stay that way. If you’re married, stay that way. If you were divorced and are now remarried, stay that way. If you’re recently divorced, stay that way. If you’re widowed stay that way. And just in case that statement wasn’t clear, Paul stresses it again.

20 Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them. 

 The New International Version (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), 1 Co 7:20.

And again…

24 Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them. 

 The New International Version (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), 1 Co 7:24.

And again…

26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. 

 The New International Version (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), 1 Co 7:26–28, emphasis added.

Paul gives advice throughout this entire passage to stay in the situation you’re in, including the divorced among the church in Corinth. And Paul is clear that if they choose to marry, including the divorced in Corinth, they have not sinned.

Summary of Biblical Divorce thus far in 1 Corinthians 7

  • Paul speaks of the divorced as ἄγαμος, a Greek term that simply is the state of being unmarried. Within this group, Paul includes all people who are unmarried, regardless of the cause.
  • Paul says the unmarried (ἄγαμος) can, and should get remarried if they long for a spouse (1 Cor 7:8-9)
  • Paul cautions a particular married couple (see 1 Cor 7:1, and 1 Cor 7:10-11) that they should try to reconcile because their marriage was not legitimate. This is an attempt to keep Deuteronomy 24 from coming into play, and causing the marriage to not be able to be reconciled.
  • The wronged party here is the husband, and seemingly it would be up to him to decide if he is willing to take back his wife who has wronged him.
  • Specific couple aside, if someone is divorced and remarries, that in and of itself is not a sin (1 Cor 7:28, 36, etc.).
  • Current marriages should never be broken up due to previous divorces, because Paul commands everyone to stay in the situation (marital state) they are in when they come to Christ, and this should be the rule in all churches (1 Cor 7:17).
  • This does not disagree with Paul, or Jesus because both of them were tracking with the Old Testament rules surrounding divorce and remarriage.

Biblical Divorce Series

  1. God’s Divorce
  2. Biblical Divorce: Divorce in Israel – Part 1
  3. Biblical Divorce: Divorce in Israel – Part 2
  4. Biblical Divorce: Divorce in Israel – Part 3
  5. Biblical Divorce and Jesus – Part 1
  6. Biblical Divorce and Jesus – Part 2
  7. The Apostle Paul and Divorce

Divorce and Remarriage in the Church

Biblical Divorce and Jesus – Part 2

by Matthew Stidham, posted in Christianity, Marriage and Divorce, Scripture

In my previous article we began to explore what Jesus has to say about divorce in Matthew 19. We concluded that just because God, Moses, and Jesus all realize that broken marriages exist and may need to end via divorce, we shouldn’t set broken marriages as the ideal outcome for all marriages.

The Pharisees see divorce as the standard, but Jesus sets pure hearts and loving, committed marriages as the ideal, just as it was in the beginning before sin ever entered the picture. Sin is a universal problem. Divorce is painful. Jesus calls us to God’s ideal, rather than accepting brokenness as a way of life. Blessed are those who mourn. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. Blessed are the merciful. Blessed are the peacemakers. This is the way of Jesus. And the way of Jesus doesn’t view marriage as just another relationship bound for the trash heap.
The Pharisees see divorce as the standard, but Jesus sets pure hearts and loving, committed marriages as the ideal, just as it was in the beginning before sin ever entered the picture. Sin is a universal problem. Divorce is painful. Jesus calls us to God’s ideal, rather than accepting brokenness as a way of life. Blessed are those who mourn. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. Blessed are the merciful. Blessed are the peacemakers. This is the way of Jesus. And the way of Jesus doesn’t view marriage as just another relationship bound for the trash heap.

Now, let’s consider some of the consequences that arise from not approaching marriage and divorce biblically.

Consequences of Illegitimate Divorce

Jesus clarifies for the Pharisees the consequence of “any matter” divorces to marry another as causing adultery. When someone misuses the Scriptures about divorce to ordain “any matter” divorces, they have not legitimately divorced their spouse. Again, please note that Jesus is dealing squarely with the Pharisees’ question about Deuteronomy 24. Jesus is not here to abolish the Torah (law), to set aside God’s Word, or to do something different from what the Lord ever intended. What Jesus is doing is strengthening the sanctity of marriage, while rightly interpreting Deuteronomy 24. And Jesus rightly tells us that Deuteronomy 24 only deals with the “nakedness of a matter”, and that matter is sexual indecency, not “any matter.” And when someone divorces someone else for “any matter,” they have not legitimately divorced their spouse. In the eyes of Jesus, the man of Matthew 19 commits adultery when he remarries, because he is still married to his original spouse in the eyes of God.

This statement by Jesus is a protection of the married woman. In that world (though not in God’s intent), women did not have as many freedoms as men. In Jesus’ world, man could unilaterally divorce a woman for “any and every reason”, leaving the woman with very little support. This teaching of Jesus intends to stop these men from using and abusing women in this way under the guise of Scriptural divorce. According to Jesus, when men or women (see the parallel passage in Mark 10:10-12) seek to use the “any matter” exit out of a marriage to chase after another, they are not acting righteously. If they marry another after this, they have committed adultery against their original spouse. Jesus and Aquiba certainly wouldn’t have agreed on legitimate grounds for divorce.

The Disciples are Shocked

10 The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
11 Jesus replied, “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.”

Mt 19:10–12, The New International Version (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011).

It seems the disciples had accepted Hillel’s teaching, which was the predominate divorce teaching of the day. Now hearing Jesus state that marriage was intended to last—that ending a marriage just because you feel like it was unacceptable—the disciples believe marriage may not be a good option!

And Jesus agrees! Well, sort of agrees. The standard of marriage has been set, and Jesus points out that some choose to be celibate “for the sake of the kingdom of heaven.” Jesus goes further to state that those “who can accept this should accept it.” In other words, if one can live a single, celibate life that honors God, they should. And I bet you haven’t heard many sermons about these words of Jesus, or the words of Paul in agreement (see my next post on this).

Many churches have taught that good Christians need to grow up and get married. Both Jesus and Paul would argue that getting married isn’t a sin, but you might live a more faithful, God honoring life by being single. Churches shouldn’t single shame people! Both Jesus and Paul viewed single celibacy as a high calling that should be accepted if possible.

But notice Jesus doesn’t budge on his ideal of marriage. Marriage isn’t to be entered into lightly, and isn’t to be ended lightly either. Any divorce is painful, and divorcing for “any matter” is just plain sinful.

What about the other Jesus on Divorce passages?

Scholars have generally approached the shorter divorce statements of Jesus as abbreviated versions of Matthew 19/Mark 10. These abbreviated accounts appear in Matthew 5:31-32, as well as Luke 16:18, and should not be viewed as in conflict with Matthew 19. As is the case with many themes in the Sermon on the Mount, the quotable moments from the sermon are later elaborated upon by Matthew’s stories of Jesus. The purpose of abbreviation was to produce a short statement that could be easily remembered, and jogged the memory to recall the fuller statement later. Therefore, 5:31-32 is the shocking attention getting statement, and is fleshed out more fully by the Pharisee’s testing in Matthew 19.

Let’s take Matthew 5:31-32 on its face value. If this was the only statement from Jesus that we had on divorce, then Jesus would clearly not agree with Scripture since the whole point of the certificate of divorce was to allow the newly divorced woman to marry again. The only remarriage of that woman that was forbidden was back to her original spouse. To say this is the final statement of Jesus, and everything must be filtered through this abbreviated statement puts the words of Jesus in conflict with Deuteronomy, God’s own divorce and reasoning in Jeremiah 3, and with his apostle Paul (we’ll deal with this passage next). One needs to understand the fuller context of Jesus’ teachings here in order to discern a Biblical theology of divorce that tracks with all Scripture has to say about divorce, and allowing Jesus to be our guide through those texts. Reducing Matthew 5 to a standalone verdict on divorce creates textual disharmony, and puts the Holy Spirit at odds with Himself. Let’s avoid oversimplifying complex Biblical teachings, and instead adopt a more nuanced understanding. Doing good Biblical theology matters.

Historical context also matters when we consider the larger contextual flow of this portion of the Sermon on the Mount, namely the leadership of the Jewish people in that time. Herod Antipas had a public divorce from his wife in order to marry the wife of his brother, Herodias. This is the illegitimate marriage John the Baptist criticized, was arrested for, and ultimately put to death over (see Matthew 14 for more on this). In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus in rapid succession speaks of murder (5:21-26), adultery (5:27-30), and illegitimate divorce (5:31-32), all of which Herod Antipas was guilty of, and publicly known for. Jesus certainly wasn’t one to pull punches when dealing with the religious elite. Instone-Brewer provides a good summary of Luke 16.

The precise wording of the Lukan version fits the actions of Herod Antipas particularly well. It describes the actions of Herod, who divorced his wife in order to marry Herodias, and Herodias, who divorced her husband Philip in order to marry Herod (Josephus, Ant. 18.110–12). The verb describing the woman as ἀπολελυμένην, “divorced,” is usually translated as a passive, but it could also be a reflexive middle, which would fit Herodias better because she initiated the divorce herself. This makes sense in the context of Luke where the Gospel speaks about the ministry of John the Baptist (in v. 16). John was the only person who stood up against Herod and told him that he was acting sinfully.
The more serious problem with these shorter versions is the misunderstanding that they can produce in a reader. When Jesus’ conclusion is removed from the context of the debate, it is impossible for a reader to understand the meaning.

David Instone-Brewer, Divorce and Remarriage in the Bible: The Social and Literary Context (Grand Rapids, MI; Cambridge, U.K.: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 2002), 160–161.

I appreciate Instone-Brewer’s summation of Luke 16:18 being about John the Baptist (16:16) and his criticism of Herod Antipas, to which I believe Jesus issues his own criticism in the parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus in the immediately following verses (16:19-31).

What Jesus never said, and how churches have misapplied it

I have heard many sermons and classes that seem to take Jesus’ words in Matthew 19 as the trump card for any and every divorce on the planet. According to these teachers, if someone divorces for any reason other than sexual infidelity, the divorce is invalid (which ignores whole passages of the Bible). These are not small, misguided churches with uneducated folks doing the best they know how. Some well known megachurches with well educated staff members have also misapplied Jesus’ words.

Well known pastor John MacArthur’s church disfellowshipped Eileen Gray and her children for leaving David Gray, Eileen’s husband, because he had been physically abusing her and their children. Eileen went to her church elders and disclosed the child abuse her husband David had committed. Rather than report the matter to police as required by law, the church instructed Eileen that she and her children must stay with her husband David, stating Eileen needed to “suffer for Jesus” by enduring David’s abuse of her and her children. Eileen Gray was kicked out of the church, and John MacArthur asked everyone to pray for David Gray because he was the victim. David Gray is now serving 21 years to life in a California prison for his 2005 convictions for aggravated child molestation, corporal injury to a child, and child abuse.

If you truly believe Jesus wants the victims of abuse to stay with their abuser, you truly don’t know Jesus and his teachings. If you believe that a violent, abusive marriage is God honoring simply because sexual immorality hasn’t occurred (turns out it actually did happen in this case), you don’t know the Word of God. Exodus 21 sets the bare standards of a God-honoring marriage, and Eileen Gray’s divorce was absolutely valid. Jesus never came to delete Exodus 21 from our Bibles. Jesus corrected the Pharisee’s distorted understanding of Deuteronomy 24 and the ways they used it to abuse women. And sadly, people have taken these same words of Jesus and also abused women with them. May God forgive our wicked ways.

As of the time of this writing, Grace Community Church has not retracted their statements, acknowledged any wrong doing, or apologized for their role in perpetuating Eileen’s abuse by ignoring her cries for help. They stand by their statements and inaction.

There is so much more that could be written about Jesus and Matthew 19, and perhaps I’ll return to this passage in future posts to address any questions you may have on this passage. Next week we will turn our attention to Paul and 1 Corinthians 7. But for now, let’s consider what Jesus did and didn’t say.

  • Jesus responds to a question from the Pharisees, which directly quotes the common interpretation of Deuteronomy 24. Jesus’ response is then an interpretation of Deuteronomy 24.
  • By responding to one text of the Bible, Jesus did not abolish other texts of the Bible on the same subject. Therefore, Exodus 21 is still a valid teaching about divorce for today (as we’ll see when Paul deals with divorce in 1 Corinthians 7).
  • Jesus taught that the one who ends a marriage without valid grounds (the man in the case of Matthew 19, and either party in the case of Mark 10) to marry another is guilty of adultery.
  • Notice that Jesus never condemns the victim in these divorces. If one party wrongly divorces the victim, the victim has done no wrong. In this case, one party has sinned and one party is innocent. It is the one who abuses their spouse through an illegitimate ending of the marriage that is guilty.
  • I reiterate my original point in this series of posts that being divorced does not make one guilty of sin. Divorce is often caused by sin, but divorce itself is not a sin. In the examples Jesus gives, the wronged party has done no wrong, and should feel no shame for their divorced status. The hard heart of the former spouse is the reason God gave a certificate of divorce, which frees them to marry again.
  • Paul’s teachings on divorce draw upon Deuteronomy 24 and Exodus 21, and will further enlighten how to interpret Jesus’ words here.

Biblical Divorce Series

  1. God’s Divorce
  2. Biblical Divorce: Divorce in Israel – Part 1
  3. Biblical Divorce: Divorce in Israel – Part 2
  4. Biblical Divorce: Divorce in Israel – Part 3
  5. Biblical Divorce and Jesus – Part 1
  6. Biblical Divorce and Jesus – Part 2
  7. The Apostle Paul and Divorce